


More Than Words Could Ever Say

by lilbutch



Category: Black Widow (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Abusive Parents, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Kissing, Lesbian Maria Hill, Maria Hill Feels, Maria Hill Is A Gay Disaster, Maria Hill Needs a Hug, Maria Hill is a bro lesbain, Maria is the definition of soft Top, Minor Violence, Natasha Romanov Feels, Natasha Romanov Has Issues, Natasha Romanov Needs a Hug, Natasha is a scared gay Bottom, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Maria Hill
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-05
Updated: 2020-01-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:07:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22128451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilbutch/pseuds/lilbutch
Summary: Maria's life is shit at best, but when a mysterious new girl transfers to her school senior year, she realizes her life might not be so bad after all.
Relationships: Clint Barton & Maria Hill, Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov, Maria Hill/Natasha Romanov
Comments: 24
Kudos: 130





	1. Chapter 1

Maria wandered down the halls of Illinois state secondary school distracted. Her phone seemed to be more important than the geography class she was already late for.

“Hill,” the stern voice echoed down the hallway.

Maria jolted and glanced up. She internally groaned when she saw her principle pacing towards her with a disappointed frown.

“Hey, funny seeing you here,” she joked as she stuffed her phone into her pocket and gave him her most innocent smile.

He was less than impressed by her antics.

“This is the fourth time I’ve caught you late for class,” he huffed out with that disappointed parent expression, “and it’s only the first week of senior year.”

Maria crossed her arms defiantly and stared back at him, her phony smile now wiped off her face.

‘At least he’s playing the caring disappointed dad role’, she decided, a much better substitute for her real father. He shook his head and let out a sigh.

“Sorry kid, but rules are rules. Report to detention after classes today.”

Maria groaned and rolled her head back, taking a deep breath to calm herself down. She waited until he turned around before making a face and mocking him silently. It made her feel slightly better.

“Sir yes sir,” she grumbled out as she set off to class.

* * *

As soon as the lunch bell rang, Maria was out the door. She made her way out the back door and easily slipped into the fenced field to hide under the bleachers. It was her usual spot, no one ever came looking for her out here.

She rooted around in her backpack until she pulled out a box of smokes, slipping one out and clamping it between her lips. She pulled the lighter out of the back of her black jeans and her pocket chain rattled from the movement.

Sat on a small wooden crate, she cupped a hand over her cigarette as she lit it. The first drag calmed her nerves, the burn somehow comforting. She tilted her head back as she slowly sucked in the smoke, holding it for a couple seconds before exhaling.

She stayed there all lunch, cigarette hanging from her lips as she watched other kids fool around and talk. She flicked the remaining bud onto the ground and smooshed it with the toe of her combat boot.

Just as she slung her bag onto her shoulder, she caught sight of a figure walking across the parking lot. Their hood was pulled up, but she caught a flash of vibrant red hair as the person continued towards the school. Maria watched them from her hidden spot. Nobody she'd seen here had hair that shade of red, and it wasn't a big school.

The person slowed down when they approached the doors to the school. A small gust of wind knocked the hood off their head, revealing their face. Maria slipped through the fence and continued to watch her.

She had to pull her backpack strap up her shoulder before it slipped off.

The girl took a visibly deep breath as she eyed the doors before walking into the school. Maria tilted her head curiously as she disappeared from her view.

* * *

Maria strolled into the principal’s office after her last class and flung her bag onto the old couch in the corner of the room. This wasn’t anything new. She’s been attending detention with principle Fury since grade eight. It was a wonder she hadn’t been expelled yet.

“Maria, such a joy to have you in my office. Again,” his deep voice rumbled.

Maria smirked at him as he eyed her over the paperwork. She sat down at a desk in the corner and propped her feet up, crossed her arms behind her head, and closed her eyes.

“I feel like I should have my own office by now, what do you say Fury?”

He made a noise between and grunt and a huff.

“You carved you name into that desk a year ago, that’s all you get,” he said tiredly. “And put your feet down.”

Maria popped an eye open and noticed the frustrated expression on his face. She swung her feet down and crossed her arms across her chest, turning her body towards his. He looked up at her unamused.

“What’s got you in such a mood,” she hummed as she rested her chin on her fist as her other hand traced over the ‘HILL’ scratched into the wood in messy cuts.

“None of your business. Now give me twenty minutes of peace a quite so I can finish these transfer forms and I’ll let you out early, how’s that sound?”

Maria gave him a toothy smile and a comical salute before settling down to doodle on the desk for the next twenty minutes. He made another unamused noise.

* * *

The next day Maria showed up to art class with a displeased attitude.

“W-why the fuck did you take this course,” Clint got out between giggles.

Maria scowled at him and shoved at his shoulder.

“I didn’t have a choice, my schedule got changed last minute,” she grumbled out as she glared down at her self-portrait.

If you could even call it that. It looked more like a bad remake of Picasso’s most abstract painting. Clint chuckled some more as he patted her shoulder just to annoy her. He knew she disliked unwarranted physical contact.

“It could be worse,” he said as seriously as he could manage.

They both looked at each other for a solid moment, before bursting out into a fit of laughter. Maria hid her face in her hands as her chest heaved, laughter spilling out of her at the sight of her awful creation. Clint wasn’t fairing any better as he tried to muffle his outburst into the crook of his elbow. The teachers piercing glare is what finally shut them up.

Maria started to cough and let out a groan as her laughter died down. Clint lifted his head to watch her, a smile still on his face.

She let out a long breath as she finally felt the emotional tightness in her chest start to dissipate but flinched when the physical pain made itself known. She wrapped an arm around her ribs grimaced slightly. Clint of course noticed. He dropped his smile and frowned.

“Are you ok?”

His inquisitive tone made her feel defensive for reasons she couldn’t pin. She clenched her jaw and held in the short-tempered response she was tempted to give him. 

“I’m always ok, you know that,” she said with a calm voice.

Her voice sounded even, but her hands were shaking under the table. He eyed her wearily.

“You sure?”

This time her glare wasn’t for show.

“Just let it go Barton,” she said as she sat back in her chair and dropped her gaze to the table.

He bit the inside of his cheek to keep from asking again.

Before he could say anything else, a loud _clang_ echoed through the room. They both looked up to see a girl standing at the very back of the class frozen with wide eyes. She was stood over a spilled can of paint.

The same girl that Maria had seen in the parking lot the day prior. She hadn’t noticed her in the class before, she must have just transferred.

This was her chance to escape Clint’s worried prodding.

Maria sprung up to help the girl, snagging a couple rags from the sink as she passed it. The girl was still standing there motionless, with wide eyes and slightly parted lips.

“Here, catch,” Maria said as she tossed the girl a rag before bending down to start cleaning the spilled paint with her own.

The paint stained rag hit her square in the chest before falling to the ground, shaking the girl out of her trance and causing her to shift her gaze down to Maria. The taller girl stopped wiping up the mess when she realized the redhead was staring at her with a wary expression.

“Or not,” Maria muttered with a raised eyebrow. “Are you going to help me out here or should I clean this up by myself?”

Maria’s face morphed into a perplexed expression as she watched the girl break eye contact with a shaky nod and kneel down to grab the rag. She followed the girl’s uneasy movements for a moment before focusing on cleaning again.

When the majority of the mess was wiped up, Maria wandered to the sink to clean off the paint-soaked rag. She noticed the girl followed her timidly but waited behind her to clean her off.

It was a double sink with two taps. There was definitely room for two people. Maria turned and waited for her to look up from the floor. When she did, Maria stepped aside and nodded over to the right side of the sink. She bit her lip nervously as she slid in beside Maria and started washing her cloth.

“You’re a little bit shy aren’t you,” Maria stated in a friendly voice.

The girl kept her head down but stopped ringing the rag out under the tap. Maria frowned and turned to her, pressing her hip into the counter and placing the wet material over the rail in the sink.

“Hey I get it, all good. I’m Maria by the way,” she stated.

She placed her rag in the same spot as Maria’s and then slowly turned to face her. She started down at the space between them while she grasped her wrist with her other hand. Maria noticed the nerves radiating off her. She could see how she rubbed her thumb repeatedly across the back of her hand, an uncomfortable indication.

The silence dragged on as Maria’s confusion ebbed on.

“Ok no talking either, that’s cool,” she trailed off.

She wasn’t quite sure what she should do or say. The girl was obviously uncomfortable and wasn’t up for a conversation. That was when Clint decided to intervene, oblivious to the weird tension between them.

“Hey Maria! Look I finished, its pretty shit but it’s way better than yours,” he stated cheerily.

He had Maria’s portrait in one hand and his in the other as he held them up to compare. Then her turned towards the other girl.

“Hey new kid, who’s is better? Mine or Hill’s over here,” she questioned with an amused smirk.

She just stared back at him with an overwhelmed expression, her eyes shifting between the two admittedly mediocre pieces of art. Maria could see how much Clint’s overbearing presence was seeming to scare her.

Just before she was about to tell Clint to go sit back down, the girl pointed at Maria’s self-portrait. Clint was dumbfounded, his face morphing into false hurt while Maria let out a shocked chuckle.

“W-what? Are you sure?” he stuttered as she turned the paintings around to examine them thoroughly. 

All she gave him was a final shrug, and then she turned and walked back to her seat at the back of the room. Maria burst into laughter when Clint looked back at her with an aspirated noise.

“I-no! No way!”

She only laughed harder.

* * *

When the bell rang Maria got up and started to lazily stuff her things into her backpack. Just as she zipped it up, the girl appeared in front of her desk.

Maria turned to face her, but before she could speak a folded-up piece of paper was placed onto her desk. She looked down at it, then back up to meet timid green eyes. All she got was a small quirk of her lips, before the girl took off into the hallway.

Maria watched her go silently before grabbing the note and unfolding it.

_Thank you for helping me. That was very kind of you._

_\- Natasha_

On the end of the paper Maria noticed a small flower was painted. The dark red flower was beautiful, better than anything she was capable of.

Maria re-read it and smiled. She then tucked the note safely into the front pocket of her bag. A warm feeling bloomed in her chest as she wandered out.


	2. Chapter 2

_THUNK_

Maria groaned and rolled onto her side as she pulled her blanket over her head with a scowl.

_THUNK THUNK_

“Get up!” A muffled yell rung through the door.

She popped her eyes open and sat up to glare at the door. She raked a hand through messy short hair as she willed herself to wake up. She could see the outline of feet stood in front of her locked bedroom door.

The door rattled with the force of the next kick and Maria flinched.

“So help me god, if you don’t get your ass out here- “

“Ok! Give me a minute,” she yelled back as she slid out of bed and mumbled curses under her breath.

She fumbled around still half asleep to throw on some shorts and a hoodie over her boxers and sleep shirt. She bit her lip as she wandered over to the door and prepared herself for the worst. With a rapid heartbeat and a clenched jaw, she unlocked her door.

* * *

“Good morning!” Clint bellowed out with a dazzling smile.

Maria made a sound of acknowledgement as Clint threw an arm around her shoulder and continued down the hallway with her. He tugged her hood off and poked her cheek with a mischievous smile.

“Cut it out,” she grumbled and slapped his hands away.

“Oh come on, what’s got you in such a mood?”

She internally groaned at his whiney prodding, annoyed that she had to deal with even more bullshit too fucking early.

“This is my normal Barton, you should know that by now,” she shot back with a half-hearted glare.

They stopped at her locker so she could grab her textbook for history. Clint shoved her playfully pushed her into the lockers beside her own, which then started a shoving match between the two. The action caused her to break out a small smile, to temporarily forget the morning she had.

With Clint’s face held pressed against the cold metal, Maria paused her teasing when she noticed Natasha across the hall. She released him and turned around but choked out a yelp when Clint hit her in the stomach, butthurt he lost so easily.

“Cut it out, I won fair and square,” she huffed out, still focused on the girl across from her as she seemed to struggle opening her locker.

Maria quickly grabbed her textbook from her locker and gave Clint a hasty, “catch you later loser,” before making her way over to help, leaving the boy with a confused frown.

Natasha was visibly frustrated as she failed multiple times at opening her lock. Her combo paper was clamped between her arm and body as she fiddled with the lock. Maria slid up beside her, amused when she was too focused to notice her presence.

“Need my help again?”

Her playful question caused Natasha to jolt away from her, eyes wide and her paper clutched to her chest.

“Woah, I didn’t mean to scare you,” Maria stated in a calm voice.

She raised her hands and showed Natasha her palms, solidifying her intentions. Natasha started back at her still visibly shaken. Maria gestured to the paper clutched tightly in her grip.

“I can help you open it if you want. The locks get sticky sometimes,” she offered with a friendly expression.

It seemed to be enough for Natasha because she hesitantly passed the crumpled paper over to her and nodded. Maria had to smooth out the sheet on the locker before reading the combination. She had the lock open within a minute.

Natasha sighed in relief when the door swung open. She turned towards Maria and gave her a grateful smile before shuffling to unload all her things into her locker.

“You sometimes have to turn it past the last number until you hear a click, the locks are old as shit,” Maria shrugged.

She nodded in thanks and then closed the locker. She now held a hefty looking textbook against her chest as she timidly met Maria’s gaze. The taller girl eyed the textbook in her grip and noticed it was the same history textbook she had.

“You’re going to history right now?”

She nodded again. Maria smiled.

“Me too. I’ll walk with you, come on.”

Maria pushed off the locker and waited for Natasha to follow her. She quickly caught up with her and they walked side by side down the hallway towards class. They walked together, but not close enough to touch shoulders. Maria glanced over and caught her staring. Natasha quickly looked away, focusing on the ground by her feet as Maria grinned in amusement.

Natasha’s cheeks burned and Maria couldn’t tell if she was embarrassed or ashamed. She didn’t mind Natasha looking at her though. She broke the silence with a question.

“Were you in history class yesterday? I didn’t see you before Art.”

Natasha shook her head and refused to look up.

“Oh. I tend to skip class a lot too, so don’t worry about it,” she said with a chuckle.

Maria watched as Natasha opened her mouth and looked like she was going to speak, but she hesitated and closed her lips. Maria frowned in confusion. She couldn’t understand why the girl wouldn’t talk to her. 

Before she could think any further on it, they arrived at their class. Maria stepped in front of her and opened the door and held if for Natasha. She gave her a shy smile and shuffled inside.

The classroom was decently full, the majority of seats mostly occupied. Maria frowned as she noticed the back row was already taken up. She had to grab a seat fast if she didn’t want to end up at the front with all the know-it-alls.

She wandered to the third row and slung her bag off her shoulder, letting in land on the table with a loud _clump._ She plunked down into her seat and pulled her heavy textbook out of her bag before stuffing it under the desk.

After a moment she realized Natasha was still standing at the back of the classroom, scanning the room for somewhere to sit. She looked nervous; her eyes flitted uncomfortably around the class. Maria could see she was getting overwhelmed.

She couldn’t understand why, but she felt for the girl. She could tell socializing was not something she was rather fond of.

She turned to glare at the guy sitting next to her. A skinny blonde kid with shaggy hair turned to meet her stare and he shrivelled under her hard gaze.

“Mind moving over one?”

Her flat tone seemed to explain that she wasn’t asking. She was telling. The kid nodded, silently moving his stuff over a seat and turning to face the front.

“Thanks,” she hummed and turned to find Natasha, still standing in the same spot.

“Natasha!”

That gained the girls attention and her eyes snapped to Maria.

“I’ve got a seat here if you want,” she stated as she kicked the chain out to offer it up.

She heaved another relived sigh and made her way over before sliding into the chair. Natasha took a deep breath before moving to pull her textbook out. Before Maria could speak again, the teacher started class.

* * *

Ten minutes before the bell rang, Maria slid a piece of paper across the table. Natasha looked down at it with a confused frown. Maria found that adorable.

_‘What are you doing for lunch?’_

Natasha peeked up at her, not seeming to believe this note was meant for her. Maria smirked and jerked her head towards the pencil that sat in front of her. Natasha eyed her warily, before grabbing the pencil and starting to write back. A minute later, she carefully slid the paper back to Maria.

_‘Eating’_

Maria had to muffle her laugh with her hand when she read it. She almost caught the attention of the teacher before she could calm herself down. She glanced at Natasha to see her alarmed expression in response to her outburst. She smiled and shook her head disbelievingly before writing back.

_‘No shit lol. I meant where?’_

Natasha pursed her lips at the question. She was wary to spend more time with Maria, but the girl had been nothing but nice and helpful to her. She held her pencil against the paper and hesitated to respond.

She was uncomfortable around other people, and she knew her silence often bothered others. She was used to being alone, in fact the loneliness brought her comfort. No one could hurt her if there wasn’t anybody around.

She could feel Maria staring at her and waiting for a response. She was nervous at the prospect of potentially spending lunch with her. Just the two of them.

_‘I usually spend lunch alone’_

Maria frowned at the paper and quickly scribbled another question.

_‘Do you want to eat lunch with me? I know a spot where no one will bother us’_

Natasha bit her lip and looked up at her. Maria was grinning back at her with a raised eyebrow as she awaited her answer. Natasha thought about how many students would be running around the hallways, the loud yelling and constant movement around her if she stayed here for lunch. The idea made her shudder before giving Maria small nod.

Maria curled her lip into a one-sided grin and turned back to face the front.

When the bell went off, Natasha jolted at the sudden loud noise. She clenched her fists and closed her eyes tight, doing her best to calm her rapid heart rate. After a few moments, she was able to open her eyes and look around. She noticed that all the other students had vacated for lunch, leaving her and Maria alone in the classroom.

Maria was looking at her with worry, hesitant to move and chance spooking her with a sudden movement. Natasha dropped her head down in embarrassment. She would never get used to that bell; it scared the shit out of her every time.

“You alright?”

Maria’s soft, hesitant voice pulled her to meet her gaze. She found that her gentle blue eyes brought her a sense of comfort, instead of the violated feeling she usually got from others watching her. She let out a shaky breath and nodded.

* * *

After throwing their books back in their lockers, Maria having to open Natasha’s for her again, Maria lead her out the back door of the school and down to the football field. Natasha followed behind her obediently, her nerves starting to settle after escaping to a secluded place. She could finally breathe without the constant movement and loud sounds attacking her from all angles.

Maria led them to the gate and glanced back at her with a mischievous smirk before slipping through the gap in the chained gate. There was just enough slack on the chain holding the gate shut to slip her broad shoulders through. Natasha eyed her wearily before turned to see the bolded ‘NO TRESPASSERS’ sign attached to the gate.

Maria followed her stare and let out an amused laugh.

“Don’t worry, no one ever comes down here. Nobody cares about this place now that we don’t have a football team,” she mused.

Natasha sighed, then stepped forward and pushed the gate gently, guaging if she could fit through the gap. Maria grasped the gate and wedged it open as far as it could go, jamming her foot under it to hold it open.

“Don’t worry, you’ve got plenty of space.”

Natasha tucked her arms tight against her side and slipped through the opening. She followed Maria along the fence and under the bleachers.

She stood watching Maria with her arms wrapped around her middle as she pulled up old crates for them to sit on. She stayed standing even when Maria sat down.

They were completely out of view from the school, alone in blissful silence. Maria slung her bag on to the floor, which drew Natasha’s attention. She pulled out a ratty looking red notebook with the front covered in scribbles, but completely bare of any academic notes. She tucked a pen into the front and then held it out towards Natasha.

The red head looked down at it with confusion, then glanced up to see Maria’s timid smile.

“I mean I don’t really use it, and since you don’t like to talk much, I figured you could maybe use this? I mean- you don’t have to, but if you ever wanted to tell me something or whatever, you can.”

Her shy rambling made Natasha look at her. She noticed the slight tinge of pink across Maria’s cheeks and she felt a flutter in her stomach. The feeling startled her. It wasn’t something she had ever really felt before.

Natasha reached out and took the book, nodding in thanks as she examined the notebook. She ran her fingers across the cover as she admired the small doodles. There was a drawing of a skull with an arrow through it that drew her focus. She let herself sit down onto one of the crates as she traced the sketch, her fingers feeling the indent the pencil left on the paper. 

Maria watched her fondly, feeling somewhat embarrassed that she was admiring her random in-class doodles that she drew instead of taking notes. Natasha felt eyes on her and looked up to meet her gaze.

“I doodle in class sometimes, it helps pass the time,” she shrugged.

Natasha tilted her head in confusion as Maria’s gaze dropped to the ground. Natasha frowned, worried that she had done something wrong. She opened the notebook and grabbed the pen.

The sound of a pen scratching against paper roused Maria’s curiosity enough to draw her gaze back to the notebook in Natasha’s hands. The girl was hunched over it, sketching something intently. When Maria leaned in to peek at it, Natasha turned away from her and shielded whatever she was working on.

Maria huffed and leaned back, crossing her arms and frowning at Natasha and she continued to work, unbothered by Maria’s intrusion. Her frown faded when Natasha poked her tongue out as she finished up her work.

Maria let her gaze linger on Natasha’s mouth. She way Natasha swiped her tongue across her top lip before biting it made Maria feel something she couldn’t name.

The sound of paper being ripped snapped her back into reality. Just as Maria gathered her bearings, Natasha thrusted a folded paper towards her. Maria raised a brow and reached out to take it from her.

Natasha watched with suspense as Maria unfolded the paper.

An astounded expression took over Maria’s face when she saw what Natasha had drawn for her. A copy of her skull and arrow doodle but shaded nicely and detailed beautifully. At the bottom of the sketch Natasha had wrote a little note, Maria couldn’t help but break into a smile.

_‘I like this one’_

Maria was impressed and the warm feeling in her chest grew. The drawing was really good, way better than anything she could have done.

Natasha watched her face, breaking into a smile of her own when she saw Maria’s positive reaction.

“Natasha, this is really good!”

Natasha ducked her head at the compliment but couldn’t wipe the smile from her face.

“Seriously, I wish I could draw like that,” she continued, “Shit, I feel like I need to some of your other artwork now.”

Her cheeks burned from Maria’s words. Both of them sat there for a moment, faces warm and smiles wide. 

Maria bit her lip as an idea popped into her head. She leaned over her crate to rummage around in her bag and pull out a sharpie. She drew Natasha’s attention when she pulled the cap off with a satisfying _pop_.

“Can I see you hand for a second?”

The question caught Natasha off-guard. Her face morphed into a hesitant look of curiosity and she studied the girl in front of her. A quirk of Maria’s lips and a sly wink sent shivers down Natasha’s spine.

She hesitantly offered her hand out, wrist facing upwards. Usually any form of physical contact with another person was agonizing, uncomfortable at best, but the thought of Maria touching her wasn’t _as_ scary.

She still flinched on instinct when Maria softly grasped her wrist. She clenched her eyes shut but a soothing thumb rubbing across the back of her hand helped steady the shaking. Maria shifted to hold Natasha’s hand gently in her own, cradling it ever so softly in her palm like she somehow knew how fragile she was. Maria waited until her eyes fluttered back open to meet hers.

“Is this ok?”

Maria question was quiet on purpose. She didn’t want to make any movements or sound that could scare her. She realized it was obviously a big deal to her to let Maria touch her at all.

Natasha gave her a small nod as she watched her every move. Maria moved slowly, shifting her crate closer so she could rest Natasha’s hand on her lap. Once that was settled, she began drawing.

Natasha let out an almost inaudible gasp as the cold marker met her skin. Maria dragged it across the back of her hand, marvelling at how much the black contrasted with her pale skin. Once the skull was done, she realized he would need a little space for the arrow.

“Can I pull your sleeve up a little?”

Natasha stilled under her touch. She was reluctant to pull her it up at all; there was a reason she wore long sleeve shirts.

Maria pulled the marker away, afraid she had crossed a line, but Natasha reached out to grasp her wrist. They both stilled as they met each other’s eyes. Natasha released her wrist rather quickly, seemingly surprised by her own actions. Maria waited for Natasha to make the next move.

She watched as Natasha dropped her gaze and slowly pulled her sleeve halfway up her forearm. Maria’s breath caught when seeing the multiple scars on her skin but was most uneasy about the ring of scarred skin around her wrist. Her eyes examined the mark with concern. She knew how that scar was made, and it broke her heart. She shifted her gaze to examine Natasha's face for answers, but found her eyes fixed on the grass below them, head bowed in shame. 

The silence was tense for a few moments as Maria held her hand.

“I don’t mind them you know,” she murmured, drawing Natasha’s eyes back to her.

“The scars,” she clarified, “I’ve got my fair share too. They don’t bother me.”

Natasha let out a breath she had been unconsciously holding in. Maria stroked her thumb across her hand once more before picking up where she left off.

After another minute, Natasha had a complete skull and arrow temporary tattoo. She pulled her hand back and admired it, letting her fingers drag across the already dry ink. Her eyes stung as she caressed it and she looked back up to give Maria a watery smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some tender Maria/Nat was needed


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning - a descriptive scene of emotional (and mentioned physical) abuse occurs in this chapter, so please be mindful and decide if you would like to read.

Natasha glanced around the classroom nervously. She scanned the room again looking for the brunette but came up empty handed. It had been two days since she saw Maria. Three days since they spent lunch together under the bleachers, sharing silent confessions and allusive doodles.

She frowned at the empty spot beside the blonde-haired boy she had seen Maria interact with in art class previously. She watched the boys gaze remain focused on the door as a frown tainted his usually joyful expression. It was comforting to know she wasn’t the only person who noticed her absence.

She attempted to put it out of her mind as class started, to focus on the new art assignment the teacher was going over, but her thoughts kept drifting.

Why has she missed two days of school? is she sick or did something happen?

A canvas tossed rather carelessly on her desk startled her away from her mental spiral. She looked up to the whiteboard to read what was assigned.

_Assignment 2_

_\- A painting of anything relevant or meaningful to you. Painting/Written essay due next week. Explain the meaning and relevance in your essay._

_Note: can be about anything, get creative!_

Natasha tilted her head in thought as she read the board. She pondered what she could paint; the options were limitless.

She glanced down at her backpack and hesitated before reaching down to pull out the notebook Maria gave her. She examined the cover, looking at all the doodles etched into the book. An idea formed in her head as brushed her thumb over the skull and arrow drawing. She smiled softly at the memory and pushed her sleeve up for a second to admire the fading ink on her hand.

* * *

“That’s right, just walk away,” he sneered, “Just like your mother. Fucking useless!”

His breath wreaked of liquor as he spoke. He was also happened to be blocking the only exit out of the kitchen, keeping Maria trapped in his relentless assault of abuse. The anger building inside Maria threatened to burst. Her fists clenched tightly as she struggled to keep her mouth shut.

“Just fuck off already will you,” he scowled and shoved at her shoulder.

It was a constant cycle of apologies and promises to be better before he relapsed again. Maria wasn’t sure what hurt more, the emotional trauma or the physical abuse that came with every relapse.

That was the last straw before she snapped.

“No, you fuck off! Why don’t you go back to drinking yourself to death? The only peace and quiet I get in this house is when your passed out fucking unconscious!”

Her throat burned from the sudden outburst and her chest heaved as she stared daggers at him. She itched to lash out with more than words, to finally return the favor.

He landed his unfocused gaze on her and stared for a while before he let out a cruel laugh. He raised his meaty hand and Maria flinched back, clenching her eyes shut as she prepared for another unwarranted hit. Instead of the blow she expected, he cupped her cheek with a startling amount of gentleness. The contact made her skin crawl. It could almost be misread for a loving gesture, but Maria knew better.

When she opened her eyes, his laughter had faded and been replaced with a cold stare. His heartless eyes pierced through her as his grip on her jaw tightened uncomfortably.

“I hate you. You mean nothing to me,” he said with a monotone voice before he shoved her face away.

She let out a startled yelp as she stumbled backwards.

He moved past her with a grunt and dropped himself down onto the couch without another word. Her eyes burned as she slumped against the wall, her body visibly shaking. She wanted to scream or punch, do anything to give it right back to him. But like always, she dragged herself upstairs to her room and slammed the door shut.

Her thoughts were spiralling as her adrenalin coursed through her veins; the anxious terror enveloped her entire being. She let her pent-up emotions out in a messy rush of violence.

Her knuckles ached as she stared down at them, caked in fresh blood and littered with cuts. Her chest heaved and her head pounded. The mental numbness was staring to set in, and it left her exhausted. She let out a weak cry of frustration before driving her fist completely through the wall.

She whimpered as she pulled her hand back, cradling it close to her body as she pressed her forehead against the wall and squeezed her eyes shut.

Half an hour later Maria stood in front of her bathroom mirror and stared at her battered reflection. Her hands were sore, still dirtied with dried blood.

She winced when she prodded at her black eye, testing to see how noticeable it was. She concluded that it was bad, no amount of coverup could hide it. She dropped her hands and clutched the edges of the sink before she ran her eyes over the extent of the damage.

With just her sports bra on she could see that her ribs were visibly bruised. Her bottom lip was split and ached with every movement, and her hand throbbed with hot, angry pulses. Her reflection made her bottom lip quiver, but she refused to let any tears spill out.

She moved to turn the shower on. She decided that if she was going to make it to school by lunch today, she should at least wash the blood off her chin. As steam filled the bathroom, she tried to take some deep breaths.

* * *

Natasha spent her lunch in the hidden spot Maria had shown her. It was easier to spend the allotted time on her own. Safer.

She spent the majority of the time thinking about Maria. Trying to figure out why Maria made her feel nervous, but not in a bad way. She had never felt that odd feeling in her gut without fear; any nervousness usually co-existed with.

When the end of lunch came and the bell rang, Natasha gathered her things and started heading back to school. She was halfway up the trail from the field when she saw Maria across the parking lot.

She smiled softly and headed towards her. They had history class together next and she wanted to see her, to know why she was absent for two days. When she got closer, her smile morphed into a frown as she noticed the dark bruising around her eye. She parted her lips in surprise and noticed Maria’s shaky movements. The way her arm was tucked in tight against her side.

Natasha sped up her walk to intercept Maria before she reached the entrance doors. When Maria noticed her, she pursed her lips and dropped head to try to hide her face.

Natasha stood directly in front of her, brows pinched together in worry. Maria didn’t know what to say, in fact she didn’t want to say anything at all. The only reason she came to school was to prevent herself from getting expelled for having so many absences. 

Maria let out a shaky sigh before slowly meeting her worried gaze. Natasha let out a small gasp when she saw the extent of the angry bruising up close. The skin under Maria’s left eye was a dark purple and the tissue around it had faded lighter bruising. There was a small cut just under the outside of her eye that looked fresh and swollen, indicating the bruising was a result some sort of violence. Green eyes flitted over her face with concern, surveying her injuries with concerned apprehension.

Maria squirmed under her attention uncomfortably. She glanced around nervously and noticed a gaggle of students by the door watching them with wide eyes. Natasha followed her agitated gaze to see the others staring and whispering.

“It’s ok,” she rasped out with an unusually scratchy voice, only loud enough for Natasha to hear.

She bit her lip and glanced back at Maria, noticing how she self-consciously wrapped both arms around her middle and dropped her gaze. The tight set of her jaw pushed Natasha into action.

She reached out and gently grasped Maria’s free wrist to gain her attention. Natasha’s heart ached when the girl stared back at her with a broken, haunted look in her eyes.

Natasha bit her lip and looked at the school. She could see Maria was in no condition to go to class. She needed to get Maria somewhere safe; away from everyone else. 

Natasha gave Maria a gentle tug, urging her to follow as she started to lead them across the parking-lot. Maria went without a fight, obediently following behind her.

“But we have class,” she murmured out as a weak protest.

Natasha turned around and released Maria’s wrist when they were far enough away from school. Maria just stood in place, not moving or speaking. Natasha took a hesitant step further into her space and watched for any signs of distress from her advance. Maria gave her nothing, reluctant to even shift her gaze away from her feet.

Natasha held out her hand towards Maria with her palm facing upwards. Maria’s foggy haze shifted to focus on her outstretched hand, regarding it with a confused frown. Natasha waited patiently until Maria could look her in the eye.

She gestured towards the hand Maria was nursing, a silent plea for her to show her the injury. Maria slowly untucked her arm from her side and extend it towards the concerned girl. Natasha gently cradled her wrist with one hand while the other pushed up Maria’s hoodie sleeve to reveal a messily wrapped hand with patches of red soaked through the white gauze.

Natasha felt uneasy about the situation. She knew these were obvious signs of abuse and her injuries would need some treatment, but she also knew she needed to find a way to ease Maria out of her emotionally passive headspace.

She caressed the back of her hand with soft touches and watched Maria’s expression intently, looking for any indication of pain or discomfort. When she slid her fingers over Maria’s knuckles, she felt bad for the small groan of pain she let out. She stopped prodding her hand when she found the source of pain, instead shifted her focus to Maria’s face.

Aside from the bruising on her left side, she noticed the dark bags underneath her good eye. She realized that Maria hadn’t been getting any sleep in the time she was gone, probably for good reason.

Natasha softly released her wrist and slung her backpack off her shoulder to drab her notebook. Maria watched as she uncapped a pen and started writing.

_‘I want to look at your hand and you need some sleep. My place is just around the corner, is that ok?’_

She showed Maria what she wrote with hope she would comply.

Maria was silent as she read it, quiet for a few moments after as well. Natasha watched anxiously as she run through her options in her head. Maria let out a soft sigh and her shoulders sagged in what seemed to be relief.

“Ok,” she agreed.

Natasha let out the breath she was holding in, relived that Maria was allowing her to help. She tried to give she a comforting smile, but it looked more worried than anything else. She nodded her head towards the sidewalk they we on, indicating what way they needed to go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A shorter chapter for now, more coming soon! 
> 
> FYI: comments motivate me to write more :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst and fluff what else can I say

Natasha led her into an older looking building, up a few flights of stairs and down a hallway until they arrived at her door. Maria followed behind her without complaint, periodically looking around and watching the woman in front of her, but mostly letting her unfocused gaze linger on nothing at all.

Natasha pulled a key from her pocket and slid it into the lock. She had to jiggle it around before it clicked open and then she shouldered the stiff door open, cringing at the loud creek it made. She huddled Maria inside and closed the door, sliding the lock into place and dead bolting it as well. She dropped her bag by the door and motioned for Maria to do the same.

She examined the silent shell of a woman before her with concern, noticing the slight shake of her hands and her empty stare. Natasha reached out and gently took her hand, breaking her out of a trance and causing her to shift her focus to their joined hands.

Natasha watched her nervously as she concentrated on the sudden contact. She started to loosen her grip thinking that Maria wasn’t ok with it, but stopped when Maria tightened her grasp, curling her shaking fingers tightly around her own. Natasha let out a slow breath as she tried to calm her nerves and focus on what was important.

With a gentle tug, she led Maria over to the couch in her living room and sat her down. Maria sunk into the pillows in relief, slumping back and releasing Natasha’s hand. As she made herself more comfortable, Natasha went looking for her first aid kit that she kept in the bathroom. That gave Maria time to look around the room.

The room seemed mostly bare except for the few pieces of furniture and the old television in the corner. The shelves had a few books on them but were vacant of any photos. It felt more like a hotel room than a home as she noticed the lack of personal touch, providing no sense of what Natasha might like.

Natasha return a few minutes later carrying a red zip up bag of medical supplies and a damp cloth. Maria sat still as she set the kit on the coffee table by the couch and opened it to pull out what they needed. She then sat down on the couch beside Maria, leaving a small amount of space between them so they were close enough to touch, but their legs were not pressed together.

Natasha reached over to examine her hand, but waited until Maria nodded in consent before grasping it and resting it gently in her lap as she undid the slightly bloodied gauze. She inhaled sharply at the sight of her swollen, bruised hand covered in small cuts around the knuckles. She rubbed her thumb soothingly across Maria’s wrist before she looked up at her. Maria’s eyes were locked on the floor, purposefully avoiding her questioning stare but Natasha wasn’t having any of that.

She reached out and hooked a gentle finger under her chin and pulled her gaze up. Maria eyes were shining with unshed tears, threatening to spill over at the slightest movement. Natasha’s chest ached as Maria was on the verge of breaking down right in front of her.

She glided her fingers across the soft skin of Maria’s jaw before sliding her hand to the back of her neck to hold her steady. Maria let her eyes shut as tears started to slip down her cheeks, her bottom lip trembling as she clenched her lids tighter. Natasha breathed out a sad hum and gently pulled her into an embrace, bringing her other hand to wrap around Maria’s middle as the anguished woman pressed her face into Natasha shoulder with a stifled whine.

She held her gently as she hiccupped and silently sobbed, her whole body shaking with the force of each shudder. Maria had Natasha’s sweater clutched tightly in her grasp and refused to let go. Natasha lightly scratched her nails through the short hair on the back of Maria’s neck while rubbing soothing circles on her back with the other.

Even when Maria’s shuddered calmed and her breath started to even out, Natasha still held her with a reassuring sense of warmth. Maria exhaled tiredly against her as she tucked her face tighter into Natasha’s shoulder, letting her whole body slump against her in exhaustion. Neither of them could bring themselves to move as they took comfort in each other’s touch, both of them starved for some sort of loving affection.

Natasha could feel the exhaustion emanating off her and knew she needed some rest. Still holding Maria securely against her shoulder, she reached out and grabbed the gauze of rubbing alcohol from the table behind her to attempt to fix up her battered hands. Once she got her cleaned up, she was going to let her get some much-needed rest.

She shifted a bit so Maria was still leaned against her front, but she had access to her hands. Maria mumbled out something in protest but melted against her when Natasha ran a gentle hand through her messy hair, giving her scalp a little scratch before getting back to her task. 

She poured a small amount of rubbing alcohol onto the damp cloth after positioning Maria’s hand palm down on her thigh. She could feel the distracting warmth of her Maria’s hand through her pants. Natasha bit her lip as she held the cloth above Maria’s hand, hesitant to cause her more pain, but knowing the cuts needed to be cleaned properly.

As soon as the cloth touched Maria’s hand, she felt her go stiff in her grip, completely ripped out of her blissful rest by the sharp, sudden pain. Natasha tried to soothe her by rubbing her thumb over the sensitive skin behind Maria’s ear, but it didn’t seem to do much. She had to withdrawal her comforting touch to use both her hands. She cleaned the cuts as quickly and efficiently as possible before placing a padded strip of gauze across her knuckles, then wrapped a thinner layer around it to hold it in place. She did the same on the other hand, thankful that her other it didn’t seem to be as swollen. 

Natasha took a steady breath in when she was done, her exhale coming out slightly shakier. With Maria still pressed against her she was hesitant to move. Natasha gave her another couple minutes before her back started to cramp from being twisted in an awkward angle.

When she started to pull away, Maria mumbled something too quiet for Natasha to hear and reached out to weakly grasp the front of her sweatshirt to stop her from moving away. She leaned down so Maria could repeat what she had said to her. The quiet plea she rasped out broke her heart.

“Stay.”

The sudden neediness surprised her, but she was willing to do what it took to make Maria feel safe. Instead of pulling away and showing Maria her room so she could get some rest in a comfortable bed like she planned, she pulled Maria even closer and shifted their bodies. Natasha swung her legs onto the couch and laid back with a pillow propped under her head, then gently guided Maria to lay against her. Maria let out a content hum as she nuzzled her head into Natasha’s neck, exhausted and pliant.

Natasha snaked her arms around Maria’s thin waist, providing a warm, safe hug as Maria kept her weak grip on her clothes. Natasha could tell Maria was fading fast, her body already slack and her breathing starting to even out. She leaned down and softly pressed her forehead against the top of Maria’s disheveled hair.

* * *

When Maria woke up, she felt groggy and disoriented. The dull headache and sore ribs distracting her for a moment before she realized there was a warm body underneath her. Every hair sprung up as a shock ran through her body, muscles tightening and her breath momentarily stopping. Her eyes snapped open, but it was no help as her face was pressed against something warm. She stayed as still as possible for a little while as she gathered her bearings and tried to choke down the rising internal panic.

After gathering the courage to turn her head to the side and examine her surroundings, she remembered with relief that she was at Natasha’s place. Alone. On top of her sleeping body. With arms wrapped snuggly around her own waist.

Maria’s cheeks burned at the realization. She was trying to figure out a way to sneak out of the embrace without waking her when Natasha shifted under her, turning her head to the side and pressing her face into the cushions. She mumbled something in her sleep, but the cushions muffled the noise.

If Maria wasn’t dying of embarrassment, she would have given more thought to how adorable Natasha looked at that moment. She was able to pull back just enough to sneak a glance at Natasha’s face, eyes closed and face slack in a peaceful doze. Her blush intensified when she noticed she was close enough to count every freckle dusted across her nose and cheeks.

The arms tightened around her waist as Natasha was starting to wake up. Maria felt modified that she broke down like that in front of her, let her see a fraction of the emotion she’s been bottling up. In a last attempt to save her dignity, she tucked her face back against Natasha’s neck, trying her best to hide.

Natasha let out squeak as she yawned and stretched under her. Maria felt her tense up mid-stretch upon realizing she was still cuddled on top of her. Natasha took a moment to relax as she read the situation. She moved to rest her hands on the small of Maria’s back, resting them comfortably.

Maria let out a small huff of air against her neck, sending shivers down Natasha’s spine and alerting her that she was awake. Natasha cautiously shifted to caress the back of Maria’s neck, sliding her fingers soothingly through the shaved hair at the nape of her neck. Maria keened at the touch, nuzzling deeper into the safety Natasha provided.

Natasha continued to hold her like that for a few minutes before she started shifting uncomfortably under her weight. Maria instantly realized that might been uncomfortable in this position, or with all this physical contact, so she pulled herself out of Natasha’s grasp. Natasha watched with curious eyes as she curled herself into the furthest corner of the couch, not physically touching her anymore.

Natasha pushed herself up to sit upright. She was still concerned about Maria and wanted to know exactly what happened to her, but she wasn’t able to communicate that. She struggled to figure out what to do before remembering the notebook in her bag.

She sprung up from the couch and paced towards the door to grab her bag, only then noticing the state of her over-filled bladder. She flashed a quick smile to Maria, who was watching her intently, and set off to relived herself.

Maria fiddled with her fingers when Natasha left the room. She felt uncomfortably hot in her hoodie, so she carefully stripped it off, trying her best not to catch any of the bandages on it.

Natasha was only gone for a few minutes before she returned with the notebook and pen in hand. She sated herself a respectable distance away from Maria before she began writing.

_‘What happened?’_

Maria expression was guarded as she read the question. She continued to play with her hands as she contemplated how she wanted to answer. Natasha was able to see the extent of the bruising covering her arms and peeking out of the top on her muscle tank. Natasha couldn’t help but stare.

Maria shifted uncomfortably under Natasha’s gaze, refusing to meet her eyes and scrunching her face in thought. Natasha sighed and dropped the book between them. As worried as she was, she would always respect Maria’s boundaries. The awkward silence lasted only a minute longer.

“He went on another bender. I tried to stay out of it, but I ended up getting involved like always.”

Natasha frowned at the thought of this happening often. She allowed herself to shuffle close enough Maria, so their thighs just touched. Maria huffed and dropped her hands to her lap as she had trouble thinking of a way to explain this. She didn’t want to tell Natasha’s the extent of it all, but she also though she deserved an explanation after the stunt she pulled just hours before.

Natasha could see her struggling, so she reached out to take Maria’s hand, cradling it softly between her own. Maria met her gaze at the sudden intimacy of the contact. They both watched the other intently as emotions they couldn’t pin flickered though their gazes. When Natasha's focus shifted to Maria’s lip’s they both held their breath.

“I don’t think I want to talk about it yet,” she murdered, pulling Natasha’s stare back to her eyes.

Natasha nodded in agreement, feeling a little guilty about being caught staring. That guilt drained the moment she saw the look on Maria’s face.

Maria's gaze was locked on Natasha’s mouth, her lip caught between her teeth as she watched Natasha run her tongue over her bottom lip. When her eyes snapped up to Natasha’s, she saw the same wanting expression looking back at her.

Maria leaned forward ever so slightly, watching Natasha for any sign to stop. She saw none.

“I don’t think I want to talk at all,” Maria whispered.

Natasha’s breath hitched when Maria cupped her good hand under Natasha’s jaw, stroking her thumb over the warm skin. Natasha leaned into the contact. Maria was inches away from her now; they shared the same air.

“Is this ok?”

Natasha nodded in consent before bringing her free hand to wrap around the back of Maria’s neck to pull her in. Their lips met in a soft, hesitant kiss. It was slow and gentle, exactly what both of them needed in that moment.

Maria then gripped her jaw more firmly, but still gentle, and guided her into a deeper kiss. She tilted her head as she coaxed Natasha’s mouth open with a swipe of her tongue across her lips. Natasha took a shaky breath as she opened up to Maria, meeting her tongue in a soft caress. They stayed like that for a while, lips moving against each other. Hands never wandered, but they both felt hot and flushed.

Maria kissed her until she ran out of breath, and then kissed her some more. Natasha was glad she was taking the lead. Maria didn’t want it to end, especially when Natasha started panting lightly against her mouth. She knew things were about to get out of hand if she didn't stop soon.

She ended things with a soft peck to Natasha’s lips, then pulled back to rest her forehead against hers. Their noses brushed as the both tried to even out their breathing.

“You’re sure you’re ok with what just happened?”

Natasha smiled and nodded again, even leaning back in to give her a final kiss to prove it. Maria let her eyes flutter open as she pulled back, examining the high flush on Natasha’s face. They were both grinning at one another, the past couple hours completely forgotten in this new haze.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone want's to Beta my chapters for me i would be eternally grateful. Even do the same for you :)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm planning on this being a long, slow burning fic full of pain, angst and love. Iv'e had this idea for a while and I feel like it NEEDS to be a story. Lemi know what you all think and if i should continue this
> 
> Also this is the flower Nat painted for Maria - http://hollyhilldahlias.aroundbeantown.com/HHVarieties/BlackWidow.html


End file.
